

| CURRENT REVIEWS |
| The Astronaut's Wife |
| Bowfinger |
| Love of the Game |
| Mystery Men |
| The Muse |
| Sixth Sense |
| Stigmata |
| Stir of Echoes |
| The Thirteenth Warrior |
| OLD REVIEWS |
A r l i n g t o n R o a dblown awayWhen someone's paranoid in a movie and no believes him or her, that paranoia will be justified.
It's cliche. Similarly, when the neighbors are perfect, they aren't. In Arlington Road,
Michael Faraday, (Jeff Bridges) teacher of an American-Terrorism course, suspects his neighbors
just might be terrorists. And no one believe him. And this isn't the second installment of
Blown Away. It does fade-in moments after an explosion, though, with one of the strongest
opening sequences since se7en, which both sets the combustible tone for the rest of the
movie and, in economical fashion, serves to introduce widower Faraday to his new neighbors,
Oliver Lang (Tim Robbins)and stepford-wife Cheryl (Joan Cusack). (c)Stephen G. Jones |
B l a i rW i t c hP r o j e c twar of the worldsLest we forget, Deliverance was 1972. Six years later The Hills Have Eyes. Two
decades later they still do. And James Dickey's backwoods have always been there in the
unconscious, waiting. What The Blair Witch Project does is take us back to those woods,
and then leave us there with three film students--Josh(ua Leonard), Mic(hael Williams), and
Heather (Donahue)--there to document the Blair Witch Legend, get in and get out. But, as the
opening title card informs, they never make it out, meaning that during the next 80-odd minutes
the issue isn't Will they die, but How will they die? Which is quite a gamble for
independents Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sanchez, dramatically speaking. But they make it pay.
Before the opening sequence is even over, narrative matters have ceased to intrude. This thanks
to genre--not horror, but documentary: they idea that anything can happen, and did. (c)Stephen G. Jones |
D e e p B l u e S e aontogeny recapitulating phylogenyThe Jaws structure works because it's simple: oversized shark enters isolated community,
begins feeding, has a few good kills and chase scenes, then is in turn chased and killed,
largely because the whole meal-thing got a little too personal somewhere along the way. Man
versus nature, intellect against instinct, all that. Deviate too far and you don't have a
shark-movie anymore. Duncan Kennedy and Wayne Powers were aware of this during writing, and it
shows. Deep Blue Sea is a shark movie, this time set out on a Waterworld-ish
compound, complete even with another anti-social man from Atlantis, right down to the haircut,
sleeveless wetsuit, and underwater acrobatics: Carter Blake (Thomas Jane) the soon-to-be-redeemed
ex-con. (c)Stephen G. Jones |
D e t r o i t R o c k C i t yfour horsemen, one apocalypseWhen we think stadium rock the kneejerk association is the decadent hairbands of the 80's. But
there was a time when it was more pure. Or, less pure, but in a more original way. The time is
1978. The band is KISS. The place is director Adam Rifkin's Detroit Rock City, temporary
mecca for MyStery, a KISS-tribute band made up of Jam (Sam Huntington), Hawk (Edward Furlong),
Trip (James DeBello), and Lex (Giuseppe Andrews), skipping school and driving in from Cleveland
on borrowed wheels and stolen time. Just four guys on what for them is a pilgrimage, with all
the necessary pitfalls, pratfalls, obstacles, etc to make it interesting. To make it seem like
they won't make it, that this will be 'that' kind of coming-of-age movie. Refreshingly, it's
not that kind of movie. (c)Stephen G. Jones |
T h e H a u n t i n gperipherally envisionedWhat gets you in a haunted house movie are the quiet moments, when you expect something to
happen. A good haunted house movie incubates this, stacks up a few false positives, then knocks
them down all at once in a crash of cymbals, only to start the whole process over. Think The
Shining, Amityville, even Poltergeist. Jan de Bont's The Haunting, a
liberal remake of the 1962 Haunting of Hill House, based on the Shirley Jackson novel,
doesn't so much concern itself with this second stage--remounting the tension. Instead it jacks
it up and keeps it there, until the baseline (the quiet moments) are the moments when only
some of the faces on the wall are tracking a character's progress across a room, down a hall,
through one of the countless thirty-foot tall doors of Hill House. This isn't to say there isn't
escalation, though. More like overload. The place is an absolute amusement park of horror, the
ideal setting for Dr. Marrow (Liam Neeson) to stage an experiment on fear; he wants to know what
use sweaty palms, rapid heartbeats, pupil dilation and all that have in today's world. His idea
is that they're vestigial responses, of no use anymore. How observing a handful of insomniacs
is supposed to answer his question is a bit murky, though, which is just as well, as the sweaty
palms etc are never given a chance to redeem themselves. So it goes. (c)Stephen G. Jones |
R u n a w a y B r i d ejulia's mileRomantic comedy is largely about
oppositions, and the eventual collapse of those oppositions into a happy ending. Which suggests
that those oppositions weren't oppositions after all. In Gary Marhsall's Runaway Bride,
Maggie (Julia Roberts) and Ike (Richard Gere), are earmarked early on for such a happy ending
by how opposite they seem to be: city boy and country girl; misogynist and man-eater; harried
freelance journalist and sedentary 9-5 hardware store manager; etc. This is all established in
about four minutes. Underneath those tags, however, are two people who are both defined by
their manner when the clock's ticking down: Maggie walking down the aisle and Ike with 15
minutes left to write a story. (c)Stephen G. Jones |
T h e S i x t h S e n s eshyamalan's wayIn Speilberg's Always, the dead hang around for awhile, tying up the loose ends of their
lives. In Jacob's Ladder, the dead hang around in a similar manner, having to make peace
before they can move on. Ditto with Beetlejuice, High Plains Drifter, Ghost,
etc. It's all about preparation. In that regard the The Sixth Sense is no different.
There's even a brilliant little thematic moment where a red balloon is released in a staircase.
It climbs, climbs, rising steadily away from the party, and then finally comes to rest against
the ceiling, unable to go any higher. Yet. It's no accident either that director/writer M. Night
Shyamalan has the young Cole (Haley Joel Osment) be the only one aware of this balloon. He can,
after all, see the dead, who are similarly trapped. (c)Stephen G. Jones |
E n t r a p m e n tvertigo among thievesIn the summers that aren't Bond-summers, we get the Bond-movies without Bond. Which is to say
gadget movies, all the high-tech toys and death-defying leaps that'll fit into 2 hrs.
Entrapment is all of this and more: it even has the original Bond--Sean Connery--playing
high-stakes cat thief Mac. More or less the same veteran criminal-type role he had for The
Rock, except this time he's starring opposite Catherine Zeta-Jones, insurance agent (Gin
Baker), high-altitude acrobat, sharp dresser. The Bond-girl has to be all of this and more. (c)Stephen G. Jones |
E y e s W i d e S h u thigh infidelityThe structure of Stanley Kubrick's swan song Eyes Wide Shut is older than cinema itself,
but hardly new to it: an everyman type encounters boundary situation X, which draws him into
some analogue of the unconscious, where he journeys, learns, etc, and then that man is reborn.
It's the Odysseus monomyth. Most recently featured in Lynch's Lost Highway, which is at
least as sexually charged as Eyes Wide Shut. The difference being that whereas Lynch
represents the unconscious journey overtly, by marking it with the illogical, Kubrick chooses
instead to dramatically incorporate it. Which gives Eyes Wide Shut more the surface
texture of, say, (talking Lynch) a Blue Velvet: some naïf stumbling deeper and deeper
into the mystery. (c)Stephen G. Jones |
L a k e P l a c i dunexpendable crewmenIn Lake Placid staying alive is easier than you'd think, with a 35 ft. crocodile prowling
the waters. All you have to do is talk: none of the characters with significant dialogue are
killed, though they sorely need to be. Viewers sometimes bemoan the conventions of the horror-
movie--all the little faux pas you can make that get you dispatched: investigating noises,
having sex, refusing to see the 'truth,' separating yourself from the group, etc. Just as
distressing, though, is when there's no justice at all, when those genre-taboos are breached
and the transgressor doesn't get his or her desserts. This is Lake Placid, set in
King-country, where the ecosystem's been seriously thrown out of whack by a crocodile big
enough to take a grizzly bear out in one bite. What's a grizzly doing in Maine? It doesn't
matter. There's crocodiles too. The lake isn't even called Lake Placid. (c)Stephen G. Jones |
A u s t i n P o w e r s I Iin the absence of shagIn Austin Powers:
International Man of Mystery, set in the 90s, Austin's arch-nemesis Dr. Evil is laughably stuck
in the 60s, demanding a million dollars to ransom the world, etc. Now it's the second installment,
though, and, to keep it interesting, Mike Myers has turned it all around: back in his own
time--the 60s--Dr. Evil is now laughably stuck in the 90s. Meaning he now wants to ransom the world
for a billion or so dollars, which is just as preposterous as his 90s ransom demand. Which is
precisely what Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me is all about: temporal dislocation. It's
why we love (or hate) Austin--via some fantastic cryogenics, he's managed to preserve a 60's mindset
wholly unsullied by the 70s and 80s. But, to return to the little binary set that propels both
movies (Dr. Evil/Austin Powers), while this childlike quality is light-hearted and attractive in
Austin, in Dr. Evil it's a character flaw. Granted, a lighthearted, entertaining one, but still,
more or less the reason Austin defeats him in International Man of Mystery.
(c)Stephen G. Jones |
A s t r o n a u t's W i f enot a space odysseyThe X-Files taught us
that alien colonization won't be loud like Independence Day, but insipient, like Body
Snatchers, Puppet Masters, all that. More They Live than War of the the
Worlds. The trailer establishes all this with minimal effort, too, as it's already
conventional knowledge. And we are hungry for it, or something like it. It's been two summers
now since Contact made the aliens benevolent, paternal, essentially erasing the
(ir-)rational fear of the Alien series. Which is to say it's high time to give those
aliens fangs again. The Astronaut's Wife does just that. (c)Stephen G. Jones |
1 3 t h W a r r i o rantonio the arabian vikingA work (novel,
movie, whatever) only gets the story-behind-the-story treatment when it's been part of conventional
knowledge for so long that the audience gets all the little in-jokes, can appreciate the asides,
the irony, etc. To look at it another way, a work only gets the story-behind-the-story treatment when it's
been overdeveloped in so many other directions that burrowing into the myth of its own origins
is about all that's left. This is what Shakespeare in Love does for Romeo and Juliet,
what Love and War tries to do for Farewell to Arms. This is also what the 13th
Warrior tries to do for Beowulf--to tell it from the POV of a minor/forgotten
participant in the 'actual' event, of which Beowulf is a loose retelling. The thing is,
however, Shakespeare in Love had the advantage of coming right on the heels of 199x's
Romeo + Juliet, meaning the play was still fresh in our minds, we were already piqued
for a little more iambic pentameter, please. The 13th Warrior doesn't have such an
advantage: disregarding the recent sci-fiBeowulf (not released in America),there's
been nothing to leave us hungry for Old English, mead, all that.
(c)Stephen G. Jones |
M y s t e r y M e na league of their ownThe trailer didn't lie: Casanova Frankenstein (Geoffrey Rush) has captured Captain Amazing (wholesome
Greg Kinnear), leaving a superhero-sized void in the skies of Champion City. Enter Mr Furious,
the Bowler, the Shoveler, Blue Raja & Co. (Ben Stiller, Janeane Garafalo, William H. Macy, and
Hank Azaria) to fill that void and save the city. All slapstick aside, this is Kinka Usher's
Mystery Men, a send-up of all the Supermans and Batmans and Spawns and Phantoms which have
been taking themselves too seriously for too long now. Granted, The Mask dealt with the whole
superhero shtick in a similarly tongue-in-cheek manner, but it didn't go nearly as far as
Mystery Men. Or, it was comic, but its comedy was confined to the scenic level; the backbone
of the superhero movie was left intact (i.e., the target audience--children--was conservatively
not overshot). (c)Stephen G. Jones |
B o w f i n g e runcannedSteve Martin is at his best when his
character is trying to sell something not really worth buying. See his silver-tongued evangelist
in Leap of Faith, a character both reprehensible and sympathetic, the endearing used car
salesman. Eddie Murphy's at his best when allowed to do variations on his always-one-step-ahead
-of-you-and talking-twice-as-fast Axel Foley. In Bowfinger--written by Steve Martin--both of these
actors get to be at their best: Steve Martin as the title-character--Hollywood outsider/
occasional filmmaker Bowfinger--and Eddie Murphy as Kit Ramsey, eccentric action star. And,
importantly, they get to be at their best in their own scenes. As with Dinero and Pacino in
Heat, Bowfinger and Kit Ramsey are hardly ever on-screen together, meaning heavyweights Steve
Martin and Eddie Murphy don't get in each other's way, which gives each whatever creative room
they might need. (c)Stephen G. Jones |
T h e M u s ecameo paradeThrough Get Shorty we learned that to make it in Hollywood, you have to
be not of Hollywood. That way all your 'foreign' methods of doing things will be just new enough
to work. The west coast was a cakewalk for Chili Palmer and his in your face, loan-shark
approach. It's similarly easy for Sarah Little (Sharon Stone), the muse of Albert Brooks' The
Muse, not to be confused with Mighty Aphrodite, though the reflective brand of humor in both
targets more or less the same audience and both are organized around the continual dilemmas of
a neurotic/sardonic male lead and his associations with a mysterious women. Unlike Mighty
Aphrodite, however, this is LA, meaning that Lorenzo Lamas is in the diner, Rob Reiner's at the
aquarium, James Cameron is at the doorstep, Martin Scorcese's desperately seeking Starbuck's.
As in The Player, too, this long string of cameos is just part of the behind-the-scenes-
of-Hollywood Hollywood movie, pulling back the curtain on the machinery which makes the magic.
(c)Stephen G. Jones |
S t i g m a t acritical mass
Stigmata was marketed as horror, when it's not. It's a religious thriller. There is a difference.
Whereas (good) horror startles and disturbs you, the religious thriller unseats you, unsettles
you. Doesn't make you leave the light on. Think Omen, Exorcist, not Prophecy. All the same
though, Stigmata is a bit more upbeat than Omen or Exorcist, which translates into less
unsettling (more reassuring). But the dramatics are all there. (c)Stephen G. Jones |
S t i r o f E c h o e sthe 6½th senseTake Chinatown
as the archetypical detective movie. In it a private investigator has to reconstruct some crime
bit by bit. And the crime of course happened before the movie started. And everyone tries to
steer him off the case. And it all gets real personal real fast, to the point where the
detective's need to know is held in balance against his need to live. These conventional
developments we expect from a hard-boiled detective movie. What we don't expect them from so
much, though, is horror, which is part of the appeal of director David Koepp's Stir of
Echoes (based on Richard Matheson's book)--that, although it has dead people walking the
halls, is nevertheless structured after the traditional detective movie, even down to the opening,
where Tom Witzky (Kevin Bacon)--private-investigator-like--is minding his own business, just
trying to scratch out a decent living, when a 'strange woman' enters and turns his world
inside-out.
(c)Stephen G. Jones |
L o v e o f t h e G a m emr baseballThe trick in a movie with a
title like Love of the Game is to, by the end of the movie, redefine 'game' so that it
refers not so much to sports but to the main character's life situation. Thus winning or losing the game means a
little more. It's a common enough trick, from Rocky to Happy Gilmore to
Varsity Blues. Or, talking Kevin Costner, Tin Cup. Which is to say Love of
the Game is, as the title also suggests, a love story, or, more specifically, a love
triangle--aging superstar Billy Chapel (Costner), freelance writer Jane Aubrey (Kelly Preston), and America's favorite already-romanticized (Field of Dreams) past-time.
(c)Stephen G. Jones |